scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap