Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo