Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (979) Bad night (6201)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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  (904): someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude. http://tfl.nu/xhi6
  Replies (21) Good night (746) Bad night (4077)
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  (925): View more from California

  So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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  (925): So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid. http://tfl.nu/x26d
  Replies (19) Good night (2203) Bad night (3260)
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  (961): View more from

  I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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  (961): I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit http://tfl.nu/r0do
  Replies (28) Good night (7600) Bad night (1614)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

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  (804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws
  Replies (4) Good night (3013) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2448) Bad night (628)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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  (330): Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late... http://tfl.nu/fji7
  Replies (5) Good night (3364) Bad night (808)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.

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  (717): he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys. http://tfl.nu/b5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (4773) Bad night (732)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
  Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (1059)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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  (908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6
  Replies (10) Good night (1621) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

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  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1583) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!

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  (718): He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!! http://tfl.nu/xa33
  Replies (7) Good night (2634) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.

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  (507): He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/651b
  Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (495)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?

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  (519): Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night? http://tfl.nu/5y2j
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.

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  (760): Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs. http://tfl.nu/59iv
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (255)

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