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• (631): View more from New York

  Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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• (936): View more from Texas

  My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???

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• (310): View more from California

  my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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• (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo

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