Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box http://tfl.nu/kcqr
  Replies (5) Good night (4323) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes. http://tfl.nu/3pwk
  Replies (13) Good night (5760) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1466) Bad night (7897)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold. http://tfl.nu/55cb
  Replies (14) Good night (6023) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying. http://tfl.nu/75ln
  Replies (14) Good night (1316) Bad night (4877)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1533) Bad night (3239)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything? http://tfl.nu/hmy2
  Replies (7) Good night (1011) Bad night (4613)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door. http://tfl.nu/u06r
  Replies (10) Good night (993) Bad night (2932)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million. http://tfl.nu/4jbr
  Replies (25) Good night (1122) Bad night (4257)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg http://tfl.nu/ezvc
  Replies (6) Good night (3367) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call. http://tfl.nu/ftpa
  Replies (18) Good night (2593) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears http://tfl.nu/spts
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?! http://tfl.nu/6znz
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1293) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff? http://tfl.nu/flsb
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (208)

Randomize