i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.