his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize