i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
