You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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