Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
