He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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