almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
