well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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