So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
