I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
