I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
