So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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