have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
