member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
