Did you just see the Batmobile???
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
