Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
