Don't make out with my wife yet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize