Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
