4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
