I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
