I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
