we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
