Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dignity is for republicans.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
