If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
