i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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