I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
