Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
