i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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