He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
