is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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