I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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