so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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