somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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