Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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