Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
