ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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