If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
