Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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