hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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