im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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