she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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