Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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