I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
barbara walters just said penis...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
