Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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