We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
