Your tits are I can't wait for
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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