Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
