32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
