new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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