Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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