just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
