Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
