I don't usually arrange sex via text message
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hippo gnu deer
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
