It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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