instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
