I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
