so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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