The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
