is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
