I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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