I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
