Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize