This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
