He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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