it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
