He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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