at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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