you win again, gameday.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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