if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
