Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I party with great urgency now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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